Far too often, Positive Thinking is like putting a band-aid over a cut without cleaning it first. Sure it helps you keep going for a while, but under the surface, the cut is festers.
|You Were:||UR – You Are|
Negative experiences are like weeds in your mind. They drain your energy, cloud your vision and stop you from recognizing and appreciating your strengths. If you don’t get rid of them, no amount of positive thinking or number of positive experiences will protect you from the fall.
Remove the Weeds, see the Trees, plant the Seeds.
Why Positive Thinking is so Popular & Why it Doesn’t Work?
Positive Thinking techniques last long enough to sell a book or pep-up a client through a therapy session. Sometimes positive thinking even works long enough to make someone take on a new challenge. This is why they are popular with many experts. Fast results, fast sales. However:
- positive thinking results are almost always temporary
- conscious positive thinking takes energy to maintain
- typically positive thinking sets you up for a bigger fall in the future.
In the best scenario, positive thinking gives you the energy to go and try something new, take on a new challenge. If you succeed, you grow but down the track, you end up hitting a bigger challenge and risk getting stuck in a repeating rut of failure.
Fake it Until You Make It Vs Learn/Fix it and Play the Game.
All of us have gaps in knowledge and many of us carry the burden of past negative experiences with us through life. If we let them, these gaps and burdens seriously impact our success and emotional well-being. The negative experiences are typically from experiences where you have been hurt but you did not have the emotional tools at the time to deal with the situation. They fester in the back of you mind.
Positive thinking pundits say fake it until you make it. I say spend some time on getting real around what you want to achieve in life and what is one small step you can take today to move forward. Fake it till you make it sounds sexier, but it is not sustainable, you have to make it.
The best approach is to build up your layers of knowledge, strength and emotional resilience slowly and surely. It is quite possible to remove the negative impact of past negative experiences and although it takes a little extra effort and time, your results will be much better in the long run.
- If you are afraid of death, how did you feel before you were born? Was it so bad? Can you see a new perspective?
- If you are afraid of failure, think on your successes and your failures. What did you learn from each?
- If you feel under attack by others. Can you imagine how you will feel about this issue in 1 years time? Can you remain calm, look to what you can influence and contribute and allow others their drama?
The fact of the matter is that you don’t always have the knowledge and tools you need to deal with all that life throws at you, but having a good think about things does help.
Clearing out these “weeds” turns your past negative experiences into neutral learning experiences and your current difficulties into challenges. Clearing the “weeds” gives you a clearer view and everyone feels more positive when they can see clearly where they have been and where they are going.
Call to action:
- Don’t Paper over the real negative experiences that we all have in our lives without dealing with them properly.
- Build the skills to deal with the negatives and turn them into knowledge.
- Next time someone tells you to think positive, smile and think to yourself ok what’s one small thing I can do to move forward on my path?